Healing Chronic Illness by Ending the War Within: My Journey to Mind-Body Peace

As I work on healing myself from chronic illness for the second time, I want to share some insights I've gained. These reflections may resonate with you, or they may not. If they don’t, feel free to skip ahead!

Much of my physical suffering stems from the turmoil in my mind. I gained weight, attributing it solely to my thyroid issues (which, yes, can contribute to weight gain) and a slow metabolism. However, I overlooked how I was emotionally insulating myself. The weight became a cocoon, shielding me from visibility and creating distance between me and my loved ones. My nervous system struggled to cope, leaving me feeling unsafe even around those I cherish.

What Not Feeling Emotionally Safe Looked Like

• Letting others make decisions for me to keep them happy while ignoring my own needs.

• Shrinking my voice to avoid upsetting family members or "rocking the boat."

• Trying to make myself invisible to escape unwanted attention.

• Micromanaging my kids and others to create predictability and safety.

• Spending hours nurturing my clients as a massage therapist, then my family, while neglecting myself.

  
  

I was an intense people pleaser. If I were a flower in a garden, I would water everyone else until there was nothing left for myself. I felt as dry as a desert.

My self-esteem was in shambles. I felt like a failure, even if others didn’t see me that way. At one point, I thought my family would be better off without me. Thankfully, that thought wasn’t truly mine; just 5 mg of Lexapro helped me regain clarity. My mind was in a deprived state, and my body reflected that deprivation.

What I Did Differently That Sparked Change-Using The Mind-Body Connection For My Benefit

Since the beginning of the year, I have poured effort into learning self-regulation. It hasn’t been easy, especially after my husband self-deported for his safety due to the current political climate. I also have two special needs kids to care for. I’m learning to stop being a victim of my circumstances. Instead, I’m turning my struggles into victories. I look forward to a future where I can reflect on this journey, take a deep breath, and realize how strong, resilient, and resourceful I truly am.

I started by changing the narratives I tell myself daily. When negative self-talk arises, I ask myself:

• Where did this thought come from?

• Is it really true?

• Does it align with my values?

• What underlying emotion is my soul trying to release so I can update my beliefs?

  
  

I also established daily rituals to start and end my day. These include:

• Mirror work

• Listening to affirmations and subliminal videos

• Enjoying music that resonates with how I want to feel

• Keeping a gratitude log

• Engaging in ecstatic dance or using my vibration plate to release pent-up emotions

• Stopping rituals that kept me triggered and in fight-or-flight mode, like watching the news or doom-scrolling on social media.

  
  

For most of my life, I lacked structure. I would wake up just in time to get myself and my kids ready for the day. Everything felt unintentional. Living on autopilot caused me to lose touch with my intuition. Performing rituals, even for just five minutes, helps me stay grounded and intentional.

Chronic Illness Recovery Through Ritual and Homeopathy

Today, I had an epiphany after taking a homeopathic remedy to address constitutional patterns and performing a ritual of release. John Lennon’s “Happy Christmas (War Is Over)” played in my mind. The words "War is over, if you want it. War is over now" echoed repeatedly. I listened to the song and watched a video portraying the hardships of war and its effects on those who suffer. I realized I had been on the losing end of a war with myself. But now, I declare that the war is over! The old systems have crumbled, and it’s time to build something new, better, and more aligned with how I want to experience my time on this planet.

Feel free to watch the video, or not. It’s not an easy watch. But as you do, if you’re navigating a chronic degenerative process (which can relate to any aspect of life), declare to yourself that the war is over.

Watch the video here.

Embracing Change and Healing

Healing is a journey. It’s not just about the physical; it’s about nurturing the mind and spirit too. I’ve learned that embracing change is crucial. I’m learning to listen to my body and mind, understanding their signals.

The Power of Community

Connecting with others who share similar experiences has been invaluable. Sharing stories and strategies creates a sense of belonging. It reminds me that I’m not alone in this journey.

Finding Joy in Small Moments

I’ve also discovered the importance of finding joy in small moments. Whether it’s a warm cup of tea, a walk in nature, or a heartfelt conversation, these moments can be powerful. They remind me to appreciate life, even amidst challenges.

Conclusion: Your Journey to Wellness

As I continue on this path, I encourage you to explore your own journey to wellness. Remember, it’s okay to seek help and lean on others. You are not alone, and your healing matters. Let’s embrace this journey together, celebrating every small victory along the way!